Recently I re-blogged a post about suicide. Which got me started thinking about suicide. And like mentioned in the article, its not about dying, its about stopping pain and suffering. Massive pain and suffering. Pain and suffering at a level that if you’ve never felt it, never stood on the edge of that abyss. you’ll never understand. Ever. Unless you’re good a practicing empathy,you might come close to comprehending; if you can make yourself feel that kind of pain. The amount of pain, suffering, loneliness, fear, depression, sadness, and darkness that causes a person to start looking at ANY type of relief, is more than one person should ever have to carry alone.
That amount of despair is just about indescribable. And like stated in the other article, most people don’t want to talk about it. Then it happens and everybody feels bad for the person; can’t even imagine that kind of despair. Usually though, usually, a person will throw out advance warning signs, and if people weren’t so reluctant to talk about it, so reluctant to spend some time with a person, it could quite possibly be avoided. Imagine spending a few minutes with a person, enough minutes with that person that were so important to them that they changed their mind about suicide, and suddenly you saved a life. And all you had to do was “be there” for somebody.
Now, if a person has made up their mind and is committed to it, they won’t say a word, and will just do it, without notice. (even though there may still be some low key signs of impending action)
On the other hand, if a person makes “off handed” comments about it, or tries to talk about it or discuss it, that usually indicates they’re thinking about it, and part of their brain is crying out for help the only way it knows how. A key then is to try to let that person know they’re not alone, they don’t have to be alone and you or somebody else can be there to lean on. Sometimes knowing that one person cares, can make a big difference.
Slightly less visible warning signs; a change in emotion/attitude, a sudden change, from sad depression, to more of a relieved state or calmness. Putting “some affairs” in order. Making some “final” type statements to some key people. Or becoming extremely despondent and isolated and having several emotional “meltdowns”.
I’m no expert, and not the final word, nor is this a complete list of any type of warning for anything. The point is, that there are a variety of signs, and if we let go of the “stigmas” surrounding it, and try to listen and understand people, we can probably help more than we lose. The signs are usually there, but we cannot be afraid to get involved, cannot be afraid to have discussions.
Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems, but too the people standing on the edge, it is nowhere near that simple of a thought process.